I'd been putting it off, thinking it wasn't actually a thing people read-- like mutual fund prospectuses or fine printy things. Turns out it is loaded with tons of useful information for getting settled here in Beijing. Who knew??? One thing I learned is that based on the short amount of time I've been here, I am in the Honeymoon Stage of culture shock. This is fantastic news! It is the first and best stage, because apparently I think everything about my new country is exciting and wondrous.
Time out for honesty: Even though this was great news, I did not believe it for a second. I mean, seriously? Everyone smokes here, which is driving me just a teensy bit insane. People are constantly hocking up loogies and spitting them everywhere (everywhere!) on the ground like they don't even care that you're wearing your brand new Franco Sarto boots that you love. I have personally witnessed 4 people very publicly picking their noses with gusto in the last 36 hours, and Curtis heard a man shamelessly and rhythmically farting with each step as he walked past us the other day (step poot step poot step poot).
WHAT KIND OF CRAP HONEYMOON IS THIS?
(deep breaths. deep breaths.)
Okay fine. Maaaaybe I'm noticing some other stuff, too. Like how you can be exploring the old, maze-like hutongs (alleyways) of Beijing, when suddenly you find the most shockingly lovely, scrumptious little restaurant that just charms your socks right off.
Or how spectacularly efficient and clean the public transportation is that always gets you where you wanna go for just $0.33 per ride. Just prepare to cuddle with your neighbors during rush hour. Hard.
And while I wouldn't really call this a pretty city, you can be wandering down a street one day looking for something remotely recognizable to snack on, when you happen upon an absolutely stunning Chinese mosque built in 996 AD for the 10,000 Chinese Muslims that apparently live in the area.
Do you see what China is doing to me? Just when I'm ready to pack my bags and move back to clean air and treasured friends and Orange Julius, it reveals something INCREDIBLE to me that makes me wonder what else I'm gonna find if I just hang around a little bit longer. Dammit, China.
The thing I'm really understanding is that this country will not lure you in under false pretenses. There is absolutely no padding in its bra. You either love it as it is, or you go home. Either way, China's all like, "cool."
So yeah.
Stage 2 of Culture Shock according to the manual is apparently the part when I think EVERYTHING about this country is utterly frustrating and generally sucks. After that, it'll be two more stages before I'm emotionally stable-ish again. So, something to look forward to, right??? A couple of our new friends have been here for two months and are pretty deep into stage two. The other night at dinner, one of them said to the other, "Honey, when were we crazy Americans? Was it Tuesday?" Of course, we all thought this was very funny, and it kinda made me wonder when, where, and how Curtis and I will go all Crazy American on China. Will it happen in a grocery store when we can't find the dang Honey Nut Cheerios? Or perhaps on the subway when someone pushes me out of the way at their stop, at which point I'll act like I think personal space is even a thing in this city?
Whatever the case, it'll be something to write home about. Or blog about. And probably laugh about.
Eventually, anyway.
Dammit, Woo—that's pretty cool!
ReplyDeleteParty cool and partly gross. :)
DeleteThis huge change is really letting you flex your casual-voice writing muscles.
ReplyDeleteMaybe you were always a hilariously weary travel writer just waiting to officially become that? Whatever the case, keep on typin'...
Haha! I plan to keep on typin' as China is givin' me LOTS to write about. :)
DeleteOh, dear.
ReplyDeleteOh dear, indeed. :)
Delete