Gratefulness

I am not a fan of scary movies.

You see, my brain isn't spongy when it comes to remembering things like the periodic table or even, like, what I ate last Wednesday. But when it comes to frightening things, my trusty ol' noggin will soak all that freakiness right up and present it to me in vivid detail at fun times like 4am, or when I close my eyes while washing my face in the shower.

Unfortunately just reading the news lately has felt like a super scary movie, but it's one I can't stop watching. Not even looking at pictures of adorable baby animals makes it better. Well, I mean, not after my eyeballs move away from the animals, anyway.

Here you go. Maybe it'll work for you.

And it's not just what the "bad guys" of the world are up to that has me awake when I really should be snoozing. It's the reactions I've seen that make me toss and turn. I mean, bad guys are always around, and that's why the good guys are supposed to be there to help, right? RIGHT???

Here is a good guy, presumably helping with something. Like they're supposed to freakin' do.

Instead I see people all over the place making excuses to not help fellow humans who are so desperately in need. The funny thing is that I am 100% positive that if those same exact people were put in a horrific situation and needed help, they wouldn't say, "Hey world, I totally understand if you don't wanna help me and everyone I love, because I wouldn't help you, either." Actually, I have a sneaking suspicion that it's those very people who would say, "Me first! Me first! Get me and my family outta here, PRONTO!"

The whole thing has me feeling incredibly sad in a way that not even eating a whole family size pack of Oreos can fix. Here is the evidence that I did, in fact, try.

But I guess that's the thing, right? Most of us just don't understand that kind of scary desperation. For the most part, our daily problems include things like getting stuck in traffic, having slow internet, being so dang busy, or, ahem, being fresh out of Oreos. We enjoy our sweet little first world lives with absolutely no clue what it's like to fear for them on a daily (if not minute by minute) basis. We have no comprehension of what it must be like to be so terrified that we'd choose to leave everything we have and everything that is familiar to us, and put ourselves and our children through dreadfulness with an uncertain outcome because we have the tiniest sliver of hope that Destination: Anywhere Else In The World will be better.

Most of us are simply blissfully unaware.
Jeebus.
We're so lucky.

After all, it really is just luck, isn't it?
The fact that we happen to be Here and not There.
The fact that we happen to be the Haves and not the Have Nots.
The fact that this time around we happen to be the Door Openers (or as many would disappointingly have it, Closers) and not the Door Knockers.

If ever I need help, I hope the door I have to knock on looks this cool. And I hope to gawd that whoever is behind it will happily let me in.

And speaking of luck, it's that time of year again to thank our lucky stars for all our blessings whilst gathered with friends and family 'round giant platters of main course deliciousness and a whole slew of scrumptious sides. The list of things I am grateful for this year is loooong and includes things like finding the perfect drapey tunic at Old Navy that hides all the things I want hidden, and rediscovering that little Chinese massage place next to Californos in Westport. If you go there, ask for Chris. He's the best.

Topping the list is my beautiful, healthy son, and my sweet, loving husby. They are the center of my universe, and I would do ANYTHING and EVERYTHING in my power to make sure they are always safe and happy.

Because I am a normal human being. 
Because everyone wants that for the people they love. 
Because safety and happiness are obviously what every person on this whole earth deserves and should receive from whomever can provide it, and from wherever it may be.

Obviously.

Here you have Mr. Chubby Cheeks and Mr. Thunder Thighs (aka The Center of My Universe). I'll let you guess who is who.

Thanksgiving in the Philippines

Thanks to the wonders of Facebook, Curtis and I spent this past Thanksgiving eating, drinking, singing, and reconnecting with oodles of his friends and family in the Philippines. 

It all started when Curtis found his old family friend, Aunty Luisa, on Facebook. Aunty Luisa and her husband, Uncle Caesar, actually live in Las Vegas, but spend part of each year in Tagaytay (pronounced Tah-GAI-tai), which is a mountain town just outside of Manila. Although Curtis hadn't seen her in over twenty years, she said we were welcome to stay with them if we ever visited the Philippines. 

Here is Curtis with Uncle Caesar, Aunty Luisa, and a delicious pineapple rum cocktail.

Now, Curtis was thrilled about this because he has been DETERMINED to visit the Philippines since we arrived on this side of the planet. He lived there for a couple of years when he was a kid, and he really wanted to reconnect with all the family who he hadn't seen in decades. Plus, I think he wanted to know if he remembered any Tagalog. He kinda sorta did in the "Hey-- that one word means UNDER!" kind of way. 

A couple pics from his time in the Philippines. Although Curtis and his brother Chris are only a year apart in age, Curtis was (and still is) about half Chris's size.

You know what really made things intriguing, though? A little message from Aunty Luisa inviting us to come for Thanksgiving and adding, "We are getting a fresh, live turkey!" Did she just mean "not frozen?" Surely she couldn't possibly mean...

Yup! That's what she meant! This guy arrived a couple days before Thanksgiving. This was the first and probably last time I will ever actually meet my Thanksgiving turkey. As far as turkeys go, he seemed nice.

Once we landed in Manila, it felt like the party never stopped. We were immediately taken to Curtis's cousin's home where we were warmly welcomed by his cousin's big family and treated to a delicious Filipino dinner.

Note the family resemblance between Curtis and his cousin Alan in the top right photo! Hairline twinsies! It was fun to learn more about Curtis's family history, and about his great-great grandfather who immigrated to the Philippines from China. It was also fun to have Curtis's model/actor relative, Albie Casiño, recreate his magazine-spread pose.

After that, we drove 1.5 hours to Tagaytay where we settled in, did some exploring, and of course, lots of eating.

Tagaytay has great restaurants and beautiful views of Taal Lake and Taal Volcano.

I cannot tell you how many other relatives and friends were also staying with Aunty Luisa and Uncle Caesar during the five days we were there. Judging by the number of towels hanging on the second floor balcony, I would say a whole heckuva lot.

Our favorite fellow house guests were Luisa and Caesar's son Alex, his wife Pau, and their 2.5 month old baby Lily, who made the trip all the way from Las Vegas! Check out the head of hair on that little cutie!

Every single night, a big group would hang out outside. Some of Curtis's relatives traveled a long way to say hello. Eventually they busted out the karaoke machine, and I ended up trying to fall asleep upstairs while listening to my husband singing "Hey, Jude" after having a few (too many) of those pineapple rum cocktails. 

Pictured on the left is Curtis with his Aunty Chelle and Aunty Cling Cling. Curtis was especially excited to see his Aunty Cling Cling since she helped raise him when he lived in the Philippines. He was also happy to meet some of her six children (top right).

Just for funzies, we spent one night in an area of Manila called Makati. It's known to be a cleaner, safer part of the city. Still, it was hard to ignore the armed guards everywhere, and the bag checks and metal detectors at every entrance to everything. I've often heard Manila has a teensy problem with kidnappings and murders. I distracted myself from thinking about that too much by simply eating everything in sight.

I loved the public transportation in the city-- "tricycles" were little carts that seemed to easily weave around the insane traffic (bottom middle), and "jeepneys" were elaborately decorated buses with open backs that people could jump in and out of (bottom left and right).

On Thanksgiving Day, all of the Philippines descended upon Aunty Luisa's house. The food was endless and delicious, because in addition to bringing in that live turkey (on a bus!), relatives and friends also brought a goat (A GOAT!), and freshly caught crab, shrimp, squid, fish, and all kinds of other treats.

I don't think I had ever had goat stew before, but it was tender and delicious. So were the fried scallops, marinated shrimp, and grilled squid. The sticky rice dipped in sugar was oh-so-tasty. Oh, and the extra fresh turkey? Ridiculously good.

Unfamiliar-yet-friendly faces arrived all day and night, and Curtis got to hear a lot of stories about his family. He also got to hear lots of people tell him that he's really thinned out from being a fat little kid. Is "thank you" a good response to that? We're still not sure.

Curtis with just a few of his friends and family.

The slogan of the Philippines is, "It's More Fun in the Philippines!" and I can definitely see why. Of the Asian countries I've visited (China, Korea, Japan, Vietnam, Cambodia, Laos, and Thailand), I can say that the people of the Philippines are the most extroverted of them all. The Spanish influence here is very evident in the language, food, culture, and physical features of the people. They love to laugh loudly. And eat enthusiastically. And sing soulfully. And thankfully for us, they love to show their visitors a really good time.  

Northern Thailand Vacay!

I recently decided that one of my favorite things about living in China is how easy it is to get the heck outta China.

A few weeks ago, Curtis and I agreed that we needed to take a breather from Beijing. I say "breather" because quite frankly, we needed to breathe. For several days in a row, the air quality here was deemed "hazardous" by the U.S. embassy, so it seemed like the most perfect time ever to escape to somewhere glorious (and non-toxic). After a quick Google flight search, off we went to Chiang Mai, Thailand! 

This was the view from the cab on the way to the airport. Beijing has taught me that my favorite kind of air is the invisible kind.

Our seven day getaway was mostly amazing, but as with most vacations, it included a few hiccups that I will briefly summarize here, lest you be too jealous of us having a mostly amazing trip.

1) We got a little bit burglarized. "How does one get a little bit burglarized?" you ask. Easy. We put a bunch of cash in our hotel safe (under the little carpet-y thing, no less!) and three days later, two of those cute hundred dollar bills went missing. Curtis knows because Curtis counted. Happily (and incredibly), the hotel owner happened to be around when Curtis went to complain, and he reimbursed us for the missing moola!

2) Our taxi to the airport never showed up. Looking back, maybe it was a sign that I should've stayed put in beautiful Chiang Mai? Whatever the case, we could only find a tuk-tuk to take us at the last minute. I would've taken a picture of how ridiculous we looked with all of our luggage crammed on top of us in the back of a tiny Thai tuk-tuk, but I was too busy making sure my bags and I wouldn't slide right out of the side as he sped through traffic and made quick turns. Good times!

Here you have a Thai tuk-tuk.

3) I dramatically fell down. At the end of what was a very long day, my knees basically failed to lock as I stepped out of our tour van while waving a pageant-style goodbye to everyone. So there I was, hugging the sidewalk while a van full of horrified fellow tour-goers (not to mention a horrified Curtis) gasped in unison. Thankfully, my natural reaction when I fall down is to laugh hysterically, which lets everyone immediately know that I am okay and maybe a little bit crazy. This is the third time I've dramatically fallen in my adult life, and since everything happens in threes, this obviously means I'm done with that and can now move on to doing other wonderfully embarrassing things in public.

Okay, now for all the stuff we LOVED about our vacation (you might as well get comfy, because there was a lot)...

Thai cooking class at Asia Scenic Cooking School

I knew we were in for a glorious day when our extremely animated cooking instructor (top right) introduced himself as, "Sexy A." After a grocery store stop and tour of the cooking school's organic garden, Sexy A taught us to cook everything from green papaya salad and spring rolls, to coconut chicken soup, curries, and desserts. He pranced around as we cooked, saying awesome things like, "If you cook more spicy, then you more sexy! How sexy are YOU?" (For the record, I am decidedly unsexy.)

Thai Mangos!!!!!

Mango with sticky rice might be my favorite thing to eat on the planet, and we ate it multiple times a day in Chiang Mai. The rice is sweetened and flavored with coconut milk, then coconut cream is poured over the whole thing. Sometimes they'll even throw in a side of mango ice cream for extra fun. Sexy A taught us how to make sticky rice, but said we may not find the correct kind of rice in our home countries. In that case, he helpfully instructed us to simply eat a mango, close our eyes, and pretend we are in Thailand.

Weekend Walking Streets (Night Markets)

In addition to having statues of cute Buddhist monks and colorful shoes with pom-poms on them, the weekend night markets of Chiang Mai are known to be THE place to bargain for pretty much anything you can think of. I wandered around for HOURS while Curtis opted to indulge in the sidewalk massages that were being offered on every block to weary travelers for $6 an hour.

Street Food

Chiang Mai is kind of a street food paradise. The little carts line the streets and night markets and make all sorts of delicious things for about $1-$2 a serving. As a result, we were forced to eat pretty much constantly throughout the day. I say, "forced" because everything was so freakin' tempting and scrumptious and we are only human after all.

The White Temple in Chiang Rai

If you've got a Buddhist temple laying around and you're wondering how to make it infinitely cooler, let me suggest that you make the whole thing white and shimmery. This temple symbolizes the purity of Buddha and all kinds of other stuff about escaping greed and other evils through Buddha's teachings. Mostly though, you just end up thinking that it looks like an amazing castle for the luckiest princess that ever did live. Note the "no smoking" sign on the right. I wants one.

Golden Triangle

The Golden Triangle is where Thailand meets Myanmar and Laos. We took a boat to Laos where we got to wander around for 30 minutes looking at great souvenirs like snake wine (bottom right) and white-people dolls dressed in ethnic clothing (bottom middle). Then we got to see the border to Myanmar where we witnessed a guy casually jump over two barbed wire fences to cross into Thailand for what our tour guide guessed was his daily crack-smuggling commute. I do not think that was a planned part of the tour, so we were quite lucky, indeed.

Karen Longneck Village

Originally from Myanmar, I later read that this tribe mainly exists in Thailand for the tourists. That makes a lot of sense since they seemed far more eager to slap rings on our necks and ribbons on our heads for pictures than they were to teach us about their culture. We also watched them weave scarves that they really wanted everyone to buy. So I did. Because buying scarves from women with long necks is a new thing I do.

Doi Suthep Temple

Located on Doi Suthep mountain, this Theravada Buddhist temple is said to have been founded in 1383. It's a very sacred site for many Thai people, which means you must try very hard not to drool as you stand there with your mouth open while admiring all the shiny golden-ness that's absolutely everywhere.

Overall, Curtis and I decided that we really love Thailand. We are definitely not alone in our love for this country. During our time there, we met sweet, interesting, quirky, and adventurous people from Malaysia, Canada, Korea, Germany, Finland, and Sweden. Everybody agreed that Thailand, and Chiang Mai in particular, is very lovable, indeed.

So... next time the air becomes unbreathable where you are, this would be a most excellent place to go!

Scammers, Rice Terraces, and Bamboo Rafts

There is a lot of concrete in Beijing. 

This is even more obvious after having spent the past four days in the Guangxi Zhuang Autonomous Region of Southern China, where the abundance of natural beauty made us feel like we were exploring something exotic and wild. Sure, there was the occasional McDonald's and KFC sighting. So yes... partly commercialized, but mostly... exotic and wild!

Before I get to the pictures filled with lovely landscapes, I must first say that this trip started off in a most unfortunate way. We got scammed at the Beijing airport! 

Oh the humiliation. 

Have I not read all the warnings about the many scams in China? (Yes, I have!) Have I not done a fair amount of traveling and should therefore know better? (YES, I HAVE!) But alas, my husband and I fell victim to two seemingly sweet (but actually EVIL!) women who offered to help us at the check-in kiosks at the airport. 

You see, the dang machines were not scanning our passports properly. Suddenly this little old woman appeared and asked if she could help me. I just thought she was the person waiting in line behind me and wanted me to hurry up. Before Curtis and I could fully comprehend what was going on, we were whisked away from the kiosks and brought to the front of a very long line of people waiting to get their plane tickets. A flurry of Mandarin was spoken and voila! We got our tickets. All of this happened in about three minutes. Tops. 

Then came the evil part. 

The little old woman went to a young, pretty woman dressed in a suit who demanded (in perfect English) that we pay her 400 RMB (about $65) for this service of getting our tickets "in just one minute!" WHAT???? I instantly became one Very Angry Asian, and after a few words were exchanged, we ended up giving them half that amount (which was still WAY too much) before storming off.  

Note to self: Learn how to cuss at evil-doers in Mandarin. 

Anyway. A three-hour plane ride later (filled with me fantasizing about drop-kicking the Evil Scammer Ladies over and over again), we were in the city of Guilin. 

Top left is me looking like a super-authentic Chinese fisherwoman in front of the famous Elephant Trunk Hill.
The fishermen put rings around the bird's necks so they can't swallow the fish they catch in their beaks. When enough fish have been caught for the day, the rings are removed and the birds are fed. Maybe one day the birds will organize a rebellion, but for now they stay faithfully by the side of their fishermen.
Bottom pics were taken while we wandered through the night market area.

Guilin is teensy compared to Beijing with only 5 million people, and there were some noticeable differences. For one thing, many more people ride scooters because cars are too expensive. For another thing, the food options are much more limited. As our guide put it, "the people in Guilin like to eat their food fresh." Right now you are thinking, "So do I! I love fresh food! Those Guilin people and I have so much in common!" You are adorable, but you are so wrong. What our tour guide meant is that outside of many restaurants are buckets filled with live sea creatures, and cages filled with live animals including chickens, turtles, snakes, and football-sized fur balls that we later found out were bamboo mice (MICE!). Basically you choose which one you wanna eat and then BAM! It's served right up! I am no vegetarian, but this was really too much. I like to believe that my pork was always bacon-shaped. Needless to say that apart from our hotel breakfast buffet, Curtis and I did not eat much during our two days in Guilin City. 

It's okay though, because we were only there so we could go to Longsheng County to see the magnificent 650-year-old Dragon Spine Rice Terraces. These photos do not do them justice...

Behold the beauty! It was quite a hike up there, but the view was worth every uneven stone step.

The area is also home to the Zhuang and Yao Ethnic people, who wear colorful outfits and cannot wait to talk you into buying all their snacks and handmade crafts. 

The woman I am standing next to is smiling because she got me to buy a scarf.
Apparently, I can't resist a pretty scarf.

The next day, we took a three-hour cruise down the Li River to Yangshuo County, an area known for its stunning mountain backdrop. Because it was a bit rainy, the mountains were misty and dreamlike. I kept feeling like dinosaurs should be frolicking on the mountaintops. Or unicorns. Disappointingly, I saw neither of those things.

Since there were no unicorns, we hung out with a nice German couple from Canada, instead.
They've been married for 47 years and have traveled the world together.

Afterward, we rode a handmade bamboo raft down the Yulong River which gave us a chance to get a whole lot closer to all the nature-y things. This decidedly touristy experience came complete with strategically placed photo ops meant to capture the entertaining moments when foreigners think they might possibly get tossed into the river. There might have been a little squealing involved, as I am positive that we did not get enough vaccinations to make it okay for us to be tossed into a Chinese river. 

For the bottom left pic we were told to wave at the camera while trying to also not get dunked in the highly questionable river water. Good times.

When we were finally back on land, we discovered that Yangshuo County is extremely tourist-friendly and generally delightful. Most importantly, absolutely delicious food could be found here. While it was possible to get unusual (i.e. utterly horrifying) dishes like dog hotpot and horse noodles, we opted to try a vegetarian restaurant where we thoroughly enjoyed some spicy fried noodles with mixed veggies, sticky rice with tofu "meatballs," vegetable dumplings, and fried bananas that came out piping hot and were deliciously sweet and creamy.

We concluded our trip with relaxing full-body massages (at a place in Yangshuo called Dr. Lily's) that cost $11 for one hour... because four days of exploring all things exotic and wild is not only endlessly fun, but also quite exhausting.

Detour

According to our plan, this past Monday should have been my first full day as a Beijing Lady of Leisure. I should have been honing my bargaining skills at an open market, or discovering the most delicious bowl of beef noodle soup that my mouth has ever tasted.

Instead I am sitting here.
In my mostly-empty cubicle.
In Kansas City, Missouri.

This is exactly where I was sitting a few days ago, the day before we were going to fly to China. It was six minutes until my exit interview with HR. I was going to sit at my desk for one more minute before leaving, because if there's one department I want to be perfectly punctual for, it's HR.

Then my cell phone rang.

I didn't recognize the number and almost didn't answer. Almost.
Turns out it was my husband's brother, Chris.

"Melissa. This is Chris. I was just on the phone with Curtis, and then he dropped the phone and started screaming for help. I think he was going to your storage unit. You have to call 911."

Freeze.
Is this a joke?
I am not laughing, but if he says "just kidding" right now then I won't be mad because all I want for him to do right now is say, "just kidding."

"Melissa. You have to go to your storage unit. You have to Call 911."

He didn't say "just kidding." 

I am dialing 911 when Curtis calls. He's frantic. He slipped on ice and hurt his ankle. The ambulance is taking forever. A jogger has stopped to help and will take him to the ER. Someone should take me to meet him at the ER.

When I arrived, he was sitting in a wheelchair getting checked in and the jogger stood beside him. (In the interest of visual accuracy, I'd like to add that it was January 10th, and he was clearly a New Year's Resolution jogger as opposed to a Lifestyle jogger.) Curtis looked like he was in shock and was starting to unravel.

One of my most favorite things in the world is my husband's laugh. His laugh is pure and real and deep. He laughs like a baby.

Turns out he cries the same way.

There was no stoic man-face with tears streaming. Oh no. Just like with his laugh, every part of his face was involved. It was heart-breaking.

Once they got him on the hospital bed, I could see that his right foot was dangling at a 90 degree angle to the right. Dangling. Like a sad puppet with no puppeteer. He wondered out loud if they'd have to lop the whole thing off. "We almost never do." was one nurse's response. Thanks a lot, nurse. Doctors and nurses shuffled in and out, wanting to get a look at "The Ankle." X-rays showed that he had dislocated and broken his ankle in three places. Sheesh.

He was going to need emergency surgery and they'd have to put in two metal plates. Recovery could take up to three months.

Now that they'd given him two doses of pain killers, he was busying himself cancelling our flights to Beijing. He was busying himself wondering if this was a sign and what it all meant.

Helpful Tip: Life-changing decisions should generally not be made when under the influence of pain killers and a dangling foot.

His surgeon came in and explained what would happen next. He explained that he had done this type of surgery many times over the past six years. Six years is not enough. Six years makes him a Kindergarten Doctor.

I politely asked the Kindergarten Doctor if he would please do the Best Ankle Surgery of His Life because we had just gotten married in August and I did not want to ever date again. Kindergarten Doctor said okay.

Curtis's friend came to wait with me at the hospital.

Helpful Tip: When life hands you canceled plans and a hubby who's getting surgery, it's nice to have someone sitting next to you, just in case you need a hug.

Pretty soon but not soon enough, the doctor came back to let us know that everything went swimmingly. He didn't say that exactly. But only because he is a non-British doctor who probably doesn't have a love for fun words.

So now we'll possibly be scooting out to Beijing in about 6 weeks or so, but mostly the new plan at this point is to not really have a plan.

We're gonna see how Curtis is healing.
We're gonna keep living out of our suitcases.
We're gonna continue getting our fill of Jack Stack beef burnt ends and baked beans.

The other thing we're gonna do is be grateful...

For our amazing pals who have made us lasagna, and moved our luggage, and let us stay in their apartments, and called and wrote to let us know they're thinking of us, and to ask if there's anything at all they can do to help.
For my employer who has allowed me to continue to work, and who is providing us with glorious health insurance until we figure everything out.
For his future employer who is being so very cool and flexible and everything you'd want your future employer to be.

And as uber cheese-o-riffic as it sounds, we're gonna be extra-grateful for each other. Because we've learned that even when things get all kinds of sucktastic and unpredictable and scary and stressful and emotional-rollercoastery, we can eventually find our way back to snuggling up in bed and watching bad tv all evening while munching on a Costco-sized bag of veggie straws.

Yeah. I'm really, really thankful for that.