Stuffing Our Faces In Shanghai

I admit it. I am 100% guilty of being a blog neglector lately.
Do I have a good excuse? Yes! I was eating, sleeping, and watching Netflix! Nope.
I do want to document how Curtis and I spent our very first wedding anniversary, though.
So that's what this here little post is gonna be about.

As I was saying, a few weeks ago, my marriage turned the big O-N-E.

Curtis and I really hadn't talked much about how we were going to celebrate even though this past year has given us lots to be happy about. I mean, in addition to getting hitched, we had a beautiful home built in KC and got to enjoy living there for a few months. Curtis totally healed from his broken ankle fiasco. And of course, we moved to China and have pretty successfully navigated all the crazy-weird-awesomeness that has come with THAT.

So yeah, I thought maybe a nice dinner was in order.

Then I got a text message.

It was sent by Curtis, who was sitting two feet away from me on the sofa at the time. It said that I should look inside my favorite decorative green teapot for a surprise.

Sitting inside the teapot were high-speed train tickets to Shanghai for the weekend. AND he booked us a room at a fabulous hotel... the kind where you get to pick what kind of pillow you want from a "bedding menu," and then sneaky elves leave chocolate on your selected pillow each evening when you're not there.

If I've said it once, I'll say it again: I am a good husband-chooser.

Since this was our second trip to Shanghai, we decided not to bother too much with sight-seeing, and instead focus on one of our shared passions: eating everything in sight.

The following photos document our shameless gluttony in all of its glory.

First stops: Yang's Dumplings for fried shrimp and pork soup dumplings, and Jia Jia's across the street for steamed versions with pork and crab. Here you can see Curtis demonstrating cautious dumpling-eating behavior since he overzealously dove in last time, only to have the hot soup squirt out and burn his nose.
No more risky dumpling eating for THAT guy.

We met up with my old college friend for a delicious dim sum lunch at Tang Court in the Langham Hotel. Poorly pictured here is a shrimp roll, turnip cakes, and slices of roasted pork belly. Not pictured at all because I was too busy pigging out were custard buns, spare rib soup, a cold mango puree dessert, and a whole lot of other dishes I somehow managed to stuff behind that stupid restrictive bow on my dress.

Goodfellas was a little gem of a restaurant I found on good ol' Tripadvisor. The lasagna (bottom left) isn't much to look at, but with layers of fresh pasta, cheese, cream sauce, and bolognese sauce, it was pretty much heaven in my mouth. Fantastically, they offered a complimentary digestif of limoncello (yum!) or sambuca (eewww.).

Calypso is a gorgeous restaurant with a chef who is so authentically Italian that I could not understand a word he said when I asked him what the soup of the day was, but it was still fun listening to him talk. Far and away, the shining star of the night was the Margherita Pizza. The crust was perfectly chewy and salty, and I coulda drank a vat of that red sauce with a straw. I don't know if I can ever eat at Pizza Hut again. (Just kidding, Pizza Hut. Nobody does a super supreme quite like you.)

When we occasionally looked up from shoveling food into our mouth-holes, Shanghai made sure to show us a few of the other beautiful and/or strange things it had to offer. Very notable were the bags of fruit juice that were being sold in IV bags for vampire wannabes (left middle), and the grown women wearing giant light-up bows on their heads (bottom middle).

So yeah-- it was a pretty great first anniversary. I'm already kinda looking forward to seeing what we'll be doing and where we'll be celebrating next year.

The Wild Side of The Great Wall

I spent most of yesterday huffing and puffing my way up a mountainside and through the wilderness, swatting away bugs (giant and teensy) that were incessantly buzzing in my ears and/or attempting to attack me, and trying not to think of all the slithery critters that were probably resting near the very overgrown path on which we were stomping. 

None of this was part of my plan. 

Our goal for the day was to see an unrestored, or "wild" section of The Great Wall. How beautiful and fascinating I thought it would be to see a part of The Wall that showed off the splendor of being 2300 years old; that wasn't filled with hoards of tourists and didn't look like it could've been built last week.

How hard could it be, right? We'd just hire a driver, pack some peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, and have a leisurely stroll and picnic lunch on the crumbling stones. It would be lovely. 

WRONG.

I didn't have a good feeling from the moment our driver dropped us off in a little village, gestured in a general direction, and said, "About twenty minutes that way." The Wall was absolutely no where in sight. 

But off we went with our pals, Rachael and Jerrod, wandering up the side of the mountain. 

We had no idea what the day would bring! Which is the only explanation for why everyone is smiling.

About twenty minutes in, our path was blocked by some tall bushes that were completely covered in thorns. Obviously we were going the wrong way. We did the only logical thing and turned around to head back to the car. Except we bumped into two young Brits, who insisted the right way was through the thorn bushes. They had been told by a Chinese guide to keep walking east, and that the trail to The Wall was "treacherous." 

Hmmm. Surely the translation was wrong. By "treacherous," the guide surely meant "relaxing" or perhaps "really easy." 

Nope.

So through the thorn bushes we went. 

I could not save my torso from the angry wrath of the thorns, but I could save my arms. Rachael and Jerrod got pretty scratched up. Thankfully, the fur on Curtis's legs seemed to save him.
Which is why I'm now considering growing mine out.

As we climbed further up the path, the bugs would not leave us alone. Rachael walked right into a huge spider web, which probably enraged its inhabitant. Flying things wouldn't stop buzzing in our ears and swarming around our water bottles. When we put the bottles away, they started flying directly into our eyes. What I'm trying to say is that I'm pretty sure the crazy bugs were trying to drink the moisture off our eyeballs. I had to pick like, SIX thirsty bugs out of Curtis's eyes. That, my friends, is love. 

While all that was happening, I was also dripping in sweat and having a heckuva time catching my breath going uphill no matter how many little breaks I took. Apparently couch-sitting is not a good cardio workout. 

Jerrod and Rachael were always a bit ahead of us. You see, they are the kind of people who say things like, "When we climbed Mount Rainier..." whereas I say things more along the lines of, "Can I have some of your cheese?"

Oh and did I mention-- The Wall was still absolutely no where in sight. 

After hiking for well over an hour, I could feel the utter and complete hopelessness start to set in. I was ready to give up. Who cares about a stupid, old wall anyway??? And that's when I knew we had to be close-- because if there's one thing I know about life, it's that just when things seem totally hopeless is exactly when it all turns around for the better. (Usually. I mean, sometimes. Okay... once in a while.) 

 

Sure enough, about ten minutes later, Jerrod and Rachael yelled out, "It's The Wall!"

Holy cannoli. We were beside ourselves with joy. 

Synchronized jumping for a photo is a good way to document happiness.

Soon we were exploring and marveling at the rugged beauty of The Wild Wall, munching on our peanut butter and jellys, and sipping the wine that Rachael and Jerrod thoughtfully brought along. It was perfect.

Here you have six hard-earned photos of beauty.

And not even the very long snake skin dangling from a nearby tree could ruin it. 

Horrifying. Juuuuuust horrifying.

White River Hike

I have been spending a lot of time hanging out on our couch lately.

It's not because of the air quality outside-- that's actually been surprisingly good. It has more to do with the fact that Curtis just signed us up for Hulu Plus (because seeing his wife be a productive human is clearly not of great importance to him). Also, we found out that some of our favorite restaurants will deliver FOR FREE. If you have never tried watching all The Mindy Project episodes in your pajamas while eating chicken ravioli and tiramisu from your favorite Italian place, I highly recommend it. That's good living right there.

Anyway, when some of our friends suggested we all go on a hike together, I knew it was time to give my couch some space and spend a day in the great outdoors. Time out for honesty: I am not a huge fan of being in nature. I mean, I like looking at it... in pictures and stuff. But mosquitoes are such party poopers. And when I see a random hole in the dirt, I'm always 87% sure that whatever's in it will probably try to kill me, or at the very least will not want to be my friend. Still, Curtis and I set our alarms for 6am this past Sunday so we could spend time with some very cool people in what turned out to be a gorgeous setting about two hours northeast of Beijing's city center.

As we began our nature trek, we noticed tons of locals hanging out in rafts on the White River. One of the downsides of living in such a populated country is that even when you try to get away from it all... you can't.

Fellow nature lovers. 

Not to worry though, because soon enough, the crowds thinned out, and we had all the highly questionable bridges and random goat herders to ourselves.

Not to reinforce negative perceptions, but if there's one thing I don't want to have "Made in China," it's a bridge. This one in particular rocked hard with each step we took and had large gaps between the wooden slats. If you love danger, this bridge is for you! 

Oh yeah-- there was also lots of beautifulness just sittin' around, waiting to be admired.

Note the pollution-free blue skies! This of course meant there was no pollution to protect us from the scorching hot sun. Curtis's sunscreen kept melting off his face and running into his eyes. By the end of the day we were all covered in a sticky film of dirt and about twelve layers of dried sweat.
But did I sleep well that night? Yes, yes I did. 

One of the "highlights" of the hike was having to walk through the river at four different spots. Our guides seemed to think this would be a treat. Note: My idea of an actual treat involves fun-sized candy bars or realizing there's enough wine left in the bottle to fill another glass.

Two things I learned from walking through the river four times are 1) wearing flip-flops is a very poor choice in situations of full-foot water submersion and 2) there are actually bugs that just walk around on shallow water all day and wait for you to spot them and scream.
Get a real job, bugs.
Seriously. 

The true highlight of the trip was getting to hang out with this fun bunch, who we met on a day trip soon after moving to Beijing. If you've gotta be out in The Nature, this is a great group to be with.

The bottom left pic shows us in front of a "cave" we walked through at the end of the hike. If you think the rocks look fake and glued on, that's because they are. It was some sort of weird styrofoam and wood facade that resembled a grade school art project.
Why was it there? Because China. 

Our First Houseguests!

It is much too quiet in our little Beijing condo since my mom and baby brother left after a whirlwind-y and super fun two-week visit. I LOVE that they came with Costco-sized packages of everything from my favorite granola bars to brownie brittle and macadamia nuts. If a zombie apocalypse ever happens, now would be a good time because we are STOCKED with snacks!

Anyway, it would be an understatement to say that an amazing time was had by all in Beijing, Xi'an, and Shanghai. We walked until our feet hurt, ate until our bellies bulged, and got lots of practice bargaining for souvenirs. I was also reminded daily of how totally hilarious my brother is, and how nice it is to have my sweet mom around who always carries snacks and hand sanitizer, and makes the most perfect cheese omelets for breakfast.

Lots and lots of great memories were made... here are a few of my favorite ones...

Climbing The Great Wall

We spent a glorious day eating salami and cheese sandwiches, hiking, and trying not to trip on the rebuilt Mutianyu section of That One Famous Wall. Mom was extremely hesitant and moderately terrified about tobogganing down when it was time to go... but she did it!!!
Yay, mom! 

Dining at Made in China for Beijing duck

Our perfectly cooked duck was carved table-side. Its skin was crisp and not at all greasy, while the meat was tender and flavorful. We wrapped pieces of it in a thin pancake with scallions, cucumber, and plum sauce. Best Chinese burrito ever. We also enjoyed their snowflake dumplings, named for the delicate pattern of fried crispiness they were served with.

ALL the touristy spots (It's so much more fun to go with family!)

No group selfie was left untaken during our visits to every tourist attraction from The Forbidden City to the Terra-cotta Warriors to Nanjing Road. It came in handy that Jon and I both have freakishly long arms. 

Happy hours!

To help him cope with long hours of shopping with his mom and big sis, Jon often suggested we take afternoon breaks for a foot massage or a cold, refreshing glass of alcohol.
He is full of excellent ideas, that one. 

Riding the levitating train

A new thing I learned is that there are trains that magnetically magically levitate. One such train, The Maglev, is the world's fastest commercial train, and will get you from Shanghai's Pudong airport to the city center in 8 minutes. (It would take a taxi about an hour.) Bonus: You can get green tea soft serve at the McDonald's just outside of where it drops you off. Mmm.

Enjoying the Shanghai skyline

We took a nighttime cruise down the Huangpu river for spectacular views of the Shanghai skyline. The most amazing thing of all? Every last one of those brightly lit skyscrapers was built within the past 30 years. 

The world's most delectable dumplings

Yang's Dumplings serves up a fried version of Shanghai's famous soup dumplings (xiao long bao), and they are mouth-wateringly scrumptious. I really cannot overstate how delicious these little suckers are. They're filled with pork, broth, topped with sesame seeds and scallions, and delivered piping hot and crisp on the bottom. They are what all other dumplings only wish they could be. 

Man oh man, there were so many other great moments on this trip (like the awesomely awkward time my brother laughed hysterically for the better part of an hour-long massage because he's so ticklish, and then said to his masseuse,"Do you know kung fu? Because your hands are really strong. It's kind of scary."). However, I realize this post is already waaay too long, so I'll just end it by saying, "Come back soon, mom and Jon! We loved having you here!" (Plus, we're already starting to run a little low on brownie brittle.)

Adventures in Jinan

This past week, Curtis and I were invited by our friends, Jerrod and Rachael, to join them for a day trip to Jinan. We had never heard of Jinan, but we happily agreed to go... because everyone knows that if you say "no" to a day trip, there's a good chance that all you'll end up doing instead is watch an entire season of Cake Boss on Netflix.

So I've heard.

Turns out that Jinan is the capital of Shandong province, and is located about 250 miles south of Beijing. Apparently it is known throughout China as the "City of Springs." It has several beautiful parks filled with weeping willows that are built around lakes fed by natural spring water.

Lots of prettiness.

While we did spend the majority of our day wandering through these lovely parks and basking in all that nature-y goodness that we don't get a whole lot of in Beijing, there are other things that I will remember much more clearly from this day of adventure.

Here they are for your perusal:

1) Jerrod ordered this plate of silkworms for lunch.

Silkworms are the pupae of moths and not actually worms. Knowing this does not make it any less horrifying.

2) Curiosity trumped disgust, and I ate half of a silkworm. (Handy tip: If you ever decide to eat only half a silkworm, never ever look inside to see what's in the other half.)

Here is Curtis looking on lovingly as I eat my first silkworm. This is pretty much one of my favorite photos of all time.

4) An hour after eating the silkworms, Jerrod grew red welts all over his face and neck.

This is not Jerrod. This is Will Smith in the movie Hitch. But this maybe COULD HAVE been Jerrod if we didn't run into a pharmacy so he could get some Chinese meds to get his face under control.

5) This building:

Located in the city center, we couldn't help but notice that whoever built this enormous structure was clearly making up for something.

6) What would Sylvester Stallone look like as a giant Buddha?

Obviously, that's what the makers of this Buddha wanted to know. At one time, Jinan was the historical center of Buddhist culture for the whole province, so there are lots of Buddhas everywhere. This here is the only one we saw that resembled Sly.

7) Riding home in style after our eventful day.

They ran out of the cheap seats on the train home, so we ended up doing the 2-hour ride in first class, which was AMAZING. If you're ever wondering if you are in first class, just ask yourself these questions: 1) Am I wearing brand new house slippers that were just now given to me? 2) Could I comfortably get into a fetal position if I wanted to? 3) Are there free snacks? If you answered "YES!" to these questions, then CONGRATULATIONS! You are officially livin' it up, China-style. 

Scammers, Rice Terraces, and Bamboo Rafts

There is a lot of concrete in Beijing. 

This is even more obvious after having spent the past four days in the Guangxi Zhuang Autonomous Region of Southern China, where the abundance of natural beauty made us feel like we were exploring something exotic and wild. Sure, there was the occasional McDonald's and KFC sighting. So yes... partly commercialized, but mostly... exotic and wild!

Before I get to the pictures filled with lovely landscapes, I must first say that this trip started off in a most unfortunate way. We got scammed at the Beijing airport! 

Oh the humiliation. 

Have I not read all the warnings about the many scams in China? (Yes, I have!) Have I not done a fair amount of traveling and should therefore know better? (YES, I HAVE!) But alas, my husband and I fell victim to two seemingly sweet (but actually EVIL!) women who offered to help us at the check-in kiosks at the airport. 

You see, the dang machines were not scanning our passports properly. Suddenly this little old woman appeared and asked if she could help me. I just thought she was the person waiting in line behind me and wanted me to hurry up. Before Curtis and I could fully comprehend what was going on, we were whisked away from the kiosks and brought to the front of a very long line of people waiting to get their plane tickets. A flurry of Mandarin was spoken and voila! We got our tickets. All of this happened in about three minutes. Tops. 

Then came the evil part. 

The little old woman went to a young, pretty woman dressed in a suit who demanded (in perfect English) that we pay her 400 RMB (about $65) for this service of getting our tickets "in just one minute!" WHAT???? I instantly became one Very Angry Asian, and after a few words were exchanged, we ended up giving them half that amount (which was still WAY too much) before storming off.  

Note to self: Learn how to cuss at evil-doers in Mandarin. 

Anyway. A three-hour plane ride later (filled with me fantasizing about drop-kicking the Evil Scammer Ladies over and over again), we were in the city of Guilin. 

Top left is me looking like a super-authentic Chinese fisherwoman in front of the famous Elephant Trunk Hill.
The fishermen put rings around the bird's necks so they can't swallow the fish they catch in their beaks. When enough fish have been caught for the day, the rings are removed and the birds are fed. Maybe one day the birds will organize a rebellion, but for now they stay faithfully by the side of their fishermen.
Bottom pics were taken while we wandered through the night market area.

Guilin is teensy compared to Beijing with only 5 million people, and there were some noticeable differences. For one thing, many more people ride scooters because cars are too expensive. For another thing, the food options are much more limited. As our guide put it, "the people in Guilin like to eat their food fresh." Right now you are thinking, "So do I! I love fresh food! Those Guilin people and I have so much in common!" You are adorable, but you are so wrong. What our tour guide meant is that outside of many restaurants are buckets filled with live sea creatures, and cages filled with live animals including chickens, turtles, snakes, and football-sized fur balls that we later found out were bamboo mice (MICE!). Basically you choose which one you wanna eat and then BAM! It's served right up! I am no vegetarian, but this was really too much. I like to believe that my pork was always bacon-shaped. Needless to say that apart from our hotel breakfast buffet, Curtis and I did not eat much during our two days in Guilin City. 

It's okay though, because we were only there so we could go to Longsheng County to see the magnificent 650-year-old Dragon Spine Rice Terraces. These photos do not do them justice...

Behold the beauty! It was quite a hike up there, but the view was worth every uneven stone step.

The area is also home to the Zhuang and Yao Ethnic people, who wear colorful outfits and cannot wait to talk you into buying all their snacks and handmade crafts. 

The woman I am standing next to is smiling because she got me to buy a scarf.
Apparently, I can't resist a pretty scarf.

The next day, we took a three-hour cruise down the Li River to Yangshuo County, an area known for its stunning mountain backdrop. Because it was a bit rainy, the mountains were misty and dreamlike. I kept feeling like dinosaurs should be frolicking on the mountaintops. Or unicorns. Disappointingly, I saw neither of those things.

Since there were no unicorns, we hung out with a nice German couple from Canada, instead.
They've been married for 47 years and have traveled the world together.

Afterward, we rode a handmade bamboo raft down the Yulong River which gave us a chance to get a whole lot closer to all the nature-y things. This decidedly touristy experience came complete with strategically placed photo ops meant to capture the entertaining moments when foreigners think they might possibly get tossed into the river. There might have been a little squealing involved, as I am positive that we did not get enough vaccinations to make it okay for us to be tossed into a Chinese river. 

For the bottom left pic we were told to wave at the camera while trying to also not get dunked in the highly questionable river water. Good times.

When we were finally back on land, we discovered that Yangshuo County is extremely tourist-friendly and generally delightful. Most importantly, absolutely delicious food could be found here. While it was possible to get unusual (i.e. utterly horrifying) dishes like dog hotpot and horse noodles, we opted to try a vegetarian restaurant where we thoroughly enjoyed some spicy fried noodles with mixed veggies, sticky rice with tofu "meatballs," vegetable dumplings, and fried bananas that came out piping hot and were deliciously sweet and creamy.

We concluded our trip with relaxing full-body massages (at a place in Yangshuo called Dr. Lily's) that cost $11 for one hour... because four days of exploring all things exotic and wild is not only endlessly fun, but also quite exhausting.

Weekend in Xi'an: Terra-Cotta Warriors, baby!

If you live in China, one thing you must do is always carry a package of moist towelettes. 

Another thing you must do is visit the Army of Terra-Cotta Warriors. 

This past weekend, Curtis and I hopped on a high-speed train (it traveled around 300 km/h) with a couple of friends to visit Xi'an, the city closest to the Terra-Cotta army. It also happens to be the city which marks the beginning of the Silk Road. 

The city of Xi'an itself is surprisingly modern and bustling with a population of about 8.5 million. Back in the 10th century, this was supposedly The Place To Be, and there are still areas and sights that hint at its ancientness and former glory days.  We spent our first day checking a few of these out...

The Muslim Quarter 

It was fascinating to wander through the narrow streets filled with vendors selling all kinds of snacks and souvenirs. We sampled some peanut candy and dried persimmons because my guidebook told us to. They were pretty good. Then we stopped for lunch at a Muslim restaurant, and dined on a variety of seasoned veggies, cold noodles with spicy sesame sauce, and flatbread stuffed with beef. Only later did it occur to us that the beef sandwiches were probably purchased off the street and served to us. I spent half of that night lying in bed, wondering how grumpy my stomach would be about this. Happily, my belly was a total trooper and did not object at all to its first encounter with street meat. 

The Great Mosque

Tucked away in the Muslim Quarter is one of the largest mosques in China. Founded in the 8th century, it's a beautiful blend of Chinese and Islamic architecture. We snapped a whole bunch of photos and soaked in the peacefulness behind its walls. 

The City Wall

One thing China seems to do exceptionally well is build really impressive walls. We had a hard time finding our way onto the wall, and by the time we did, it was almost dark. However, we were in for a grand surprise because they lit everything up when the sun went down, which made for an extra gorgeous two-hour stroll. Oh. And that bottom left pic is us pretending to bang on a drum at the bottom of the wall. Because it was there. 

The next day was Terra-Cotta Warrior day and we could not wait! After all, these 2200-year-old warriors have been featured a gazillion times in places like Time, Smithsonian, and National Geographic magazines. They are the freakin' supermodel rock stars of ancient relics.

Here are the pics to prove we were there. Or that we're really good at Photoshop. Kidding! We were totally there. 

Not surprisingly, the story behind this army of warriors is incredibly interesting. It's the tomb of Qin Shi Huang Di, China's first emperor who died in 210 B.C. Apparently this army of 6000 soldiers (in addition to horses, musicians, acrobats etc.) was created to protect him in the afterlife. It is believed to have taken 700,000 men 36 years to build the grave, and each of the warrior's faces is unique. While Emperor Qin Shi Huang did a heckuva lot to advance China, he was not known for being the nicest guy. After work on the tomb was completed, the artisans and laborers were essentially buried alive so they wouldn't tell anyone about where it was or what was inside. Then grass and trees were planted on the mound to make it look like a regular ol' hill. All I can say is that I am very thankful to my last employer who just had me sign non-disclosure forms when they didn't want me spilling any secrets. Jeebus. 

Before catching our train back to Beijing, we tried to visit the Wild Goose Pagoda. It's a Buddhist pagoda in southern Xi'an known for it's height and square shape. We meandered outside the gates before realizing that we were running out of time, so we took a few pics and went to hail us a taxi! 

By the way, you should know that pretty much all the taxis in Xi'an take a half hour break at around 4pm. They love this break and will not take you anywhere if there is even a possibility it will make them late for their break. They do not care about you almost missing your train at all. 

You should definitely remember this for the next time you are in Xi'an.